Aren’t we lucky. As well as getting an extra day this year, today was the day that women were allowed to propose to men rather than the other way round. How very generous.
Anyone that knows me will know that I’m not a fan of tradition, especially ones that are heaped in patriarchal history such as this one. I was intrigued as to its roots though, and it turns out it originates from an Irish tradition that goes back as far as the 5th century.
“In ancient Irish history, it is believed that this tradition was brought about after St Brigid complained to St Patrick that women had to wait far too long for their men to propose.”
Over the centuries this idea has been adopted by countries in different ways. In 12th century Scotland, women would wear red petticoats by way of proposal, and men that refused were penalised.
In English law, 29th February wasn’t considered a legal day so the law at the time which prohibited women from proposing did not apply during a Leap Year.
“This loophole provided women with the exciting opportunity to challenge societal norms and propose themselves.”
In 19th century France, women would propose by burning a red candle – blowing the candle out was the man’s way of declining.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good wedding (aka the party part) but I’ve never warmed to the idea of marriage and all the historical connotations that come with it. As far as I’m concerned, all this proposal and engagement nonsense is a waste of time. If you want to get married, just do it!
It will therefore come as no great surprise that no, I did not take the opportunity to “challenge societal norms” and propose today.
In a way I had the perfect opportunity – I could’ve got on stage at the local open mic night and made a big display that I know Adam would’ve hated. After all, we’re led to believe that big romantic gestures like that are what we all crave.
Fortunately for both of us (I would’ve been cringing as much as him) we’re both happy as we are and I have no intention of ever blowing thousands of pounds on a glorified party.
Many years ago I remember saying to my mum that if I ever did get married, I would elope and only tell people after the event. That did not go down well, but that is still how I feel. I’ve been to some great weddings over the years and I’m happy for my friends who have wanted to go down that path, but for me the idea sounds hellish.
A colleague was a witness at a stranger’s civil partnership today, after they put a call out on Reddit. Ok, they may be planning a big celebration at a later date, but if you ask me they had the right idea.